TAMED

There are always lots of surfers on the beach at night.

The houses on el Rio if you look closely at the house in the middle little Angie and Jasmine are singing Justin Bieber at the top of their lungs to me!

One of the boys got a shot of me while I was watching the surf...not bad for their first time using a camera.

One of the many butterflies in Costa Rica.

Kenny drew me a picture today and when I got to el Rio he made sure to stuff it in my backpack.

A face to the name... this my friends...is the little monster TITO!

8AM

            I keep a copy of The Little Prince that my high school counselor, Ms. Teal, gave me by my side wherever I go. I was thumbing through it last night and read chapter XXI with new eyes. In the book, the Little Prince comes from a different planet and lands on Earth. On his planet that he calls home, he has a rose that he thinks is the most precious thing in all the world. When he comes to Earth he finds that his rose is not rare at all and in fact, there are many of them; he is disappointed.

            One day, the Little Prince meets a fox while walking around Earth. The fox warns him to keep a distance from him but introduces the idea that the Little Prince can tame him. The fox says that if the Little Prince is consistent and comes at the same time each day to see him. Then soon enough, the fox will warm up to the Little Prince. The Little Prince tells the fox he doesn’t have time to tame him because he is too busy looking for a friend. To this, the fox replies that giving your time is the only way to tame something; without giving time you cannot make friends. Sure enough, the Little Prince does as the fox says, and they tame one another. They are always happy to see each other and grow dependent.

            On the day that the Little Prince must continue his journey, he is very sad and so is the fox because they will not see each other again. The Little Prince asks the fox if it was all worth it. But the fox reminds the Little Prince of his rose back home. The fox says, even though there are a million roses here, yours is still special because you tamed it. Similarly, because we have tamed each other, we will always have a special place in our hearts just for one another. 

            The chapter ends with the line, “you risked tears being tamed”. I am risking a whole lot of tears in this community. The Ticos are all so welcoming and just happy to see you. Yesterday at el Rio, the men were digging a big hole. When I asked the children why they were building the hole, the children didn’t understand my question. Come to find out, the children call their home “the hole” so the question was just confusing. Something deep inside of me was crushed. To live in such a way where you think that you are so low, that you are nothing, and to call your own home the hole, is heartbreaking.

            The name for their neighborhood is not the only evidence of how low the children consider themselves. There is severe psychological damage that is a part of each of their lives that is evident. The other day I was holding a little boy who is about 3-years-old and we were playing as he gave me hug after hug. He was so happy and then all of a sudden he turned to me and said, “You are nothing. No one loves you.” There was a sense of paralysis that was instantaneous. It was like his words had come out of his mouth as a knife and gone straight through my chest. When I write notes to friends or family. I always end by saying remember: you are loved. You are special. You are important. That mantra had a whole new meaning after this.

            Last night at Bible study, we read a quote by St. Augustine, “If you love your soul, there is danger of its being destroyed. Therefore, you may not love it, since you do not want it to be destroyed. But in not wanting it to be destroyed you love it.” I think that he said it most simply. Our choices in life in actuality are limited: we can either show love and openly express it or constantly battle against those feelings and hope that they don’t surface. Being tamed risks tears and that is a scary thought. It is just about as scary as the loss of the destruction of love for your soul. When I looked into that three-year-old’s eyes, I realized that despite his abuse, he had been tamed and that now he had a fear of losing the love he found in his heart. I held him tighter and I told him if there was anything he needed to remember in life it was that he was so loved, that he was important, and that he was special.

3PM

            I spent the day at el Rio taking pictures of the children. They had fun learning to play with the camera and looking at the pictures they had taken. Later, some of the boys came by the house and asked if I would take pictures of them surfing. I had a lot of fun getting to know the older boys. One of them is a big jokester and he is real loud while the other two are more soft spoken. We sat on the computer and looked at pictures of my family and friends. They were surprised to see the San Diego beach looked so much like their own.

            Tonight we are going to the Catholic Mass and then there is spin class so I am excited to be able to work out at a gym. It is difficult to exercise here because it is so overwhelmingly hot. Tomorrow is the same ole’ routine, el Rio at 9 and then who knows after that but I love it!

When everything is falling apart, I have found that I can be tamed by poetry. This poem is my favorite and I hope it gives anyone reading the knowledge of being loved.

 Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let not this blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams; it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.


--- Max Ehrmann, 1927