BASEBALL HATS

 A Letter to Whomever Has Once Loved a Baseball Hat:

            I never was the baseball wearing hat kind of girl; when I go on runs, I will sometimes throw on a college cap or represent my local Padres. However, the excitement over a new hat with fresh stickers and a stiff brim was always obvious during December when friends would start sporting the bright new colors of their lightly worn baseball hats or during the beginning of a baseball season when my cousins would get all their new gear.

            This summer, I had the chance to volunteer in Costa Rica for a month. I taught children basic English, we drew pictures, made play dough, and read Bible stories. Mostly, I showed the children, sometimes for the first time, that someone loved them; they needed to know they were valued.

            In the community in Costa Rica where I taught, there were about thirty boys, and there were two hats that were more coveted than any hats I have seen in the States. There was a schedule that rotated through the boys for the most special hat of all: a Green Bay Packers hat with a hole about the size of a golf ball on the top of their head. The boys would pull all their hair through the hole and said that it made the breeze come in easier. They were so proud of their hat and they were proud on the day that they got to wear it.

            I am planning my trip to revisit the extended family I have created in Costa Rica for next year, and in the mean time sending packages to share my love from a plane ride away. This letter is an invitation for you to share in the gift of compassion with me for children that need the love of strangers. After talking to two of my younger cousins, I learned that there are a lot of kids here in the States that have baseball hats that they will never wear again either because they outgrew them or they have a new favorite. We have therefore started a collection of baseball hats in honor of a shared love for the excitement they bring globally and the curious power of a baseball hat to make a child smile no matter where they live.

            Please clear out your closets and open your hearts with the generous gift of your extra baseball hats. For San Dieagans that need more information on where to drop off baseball hats feel free to contact me at 619/857/9910 or give your donations to the Meyer family. The baseball hat package will be sent on August 1—please gather all donations prior to then. For anyone that lives in Portland and goes to UP, I will be doing a second hat drive that will ship out from school at the end of September. SO, pack your school bags with a few hats and let them make their way to Fields!



With a heart filled with gratefulness for your loving support,



            Brett Ashley Boeh

PERSPECTIVE SHIFT

            Yesterday, I sat in the bleachers of my cousin’s baseball game next to my Leanie, Aunt Kim, and Uncle Chris. After the game, we headed to church, dinner, and up Cowls Mountain for a night hike with flashlights. Despite the fear of nighttime creepy crawlies we were excited to make it to the top and see the 360° view of the city.

            It isn’t often that anything can be seen with such perspective. It reminded me of flying away from the ground on a plane and watching the people get smaller, and the world shrink. With the change in perspective, you remember that the world isn’t as big as it seems when you are wrapped up in it. Lately, I’ve been wrapped up in myself. It has been hard coming home after seeing something so new—eye opening. I miss the kids and I think of coloring or sitting on the beach with them all with an envy that takes over the fun I could have with my family and friends here at home.

            There was a Greenbay Packers hat that the boys would share down on the river. It had a big hole in one side of it and their hair would stick out. But, they were proud of their hat and on the day that it was their turn, they coveted it.  When I think of the things that I have, I would like to say that I covet the things that are important and refuse the materialism of the society in the moments that it counts. The truth of the matter is, I find myself with more want than I ought to, and less gratefulness as well.

            I am working with my cousins to organize a baseball hat drive with their baseball teams so that we can send baseball hats down to the River and maybe they can be proud of more than one hat that they all share.  I get to skype the boys weekly and it is refreshing to see that our enthusiasm for each others company hasn’t faded.

            After being gone for a year at school, and coming home it is shocking to see what an effect time and distance paired together have on relationships. In some areas of my life it has been a beautiful thing. In others, there is a void where there never was and loneliness is accompaniment. Like the peak of the mountain and seeing the whole city decorated with lights, so is the perspective change from Jaco to San Diego. I would like to make it easy, to say that everything is the same, to go back to the way things were, and rest happily in the comforts of the usual, the mundane. I would like to say the world has changed and my uncomfortable feeling is just a result of the change. However, I know the truth of the matter is that I am the one that is different. The difference I have found in myself is solely a measure of growth and the 360° perspective being a change that will luckily be difficult to escape.

FATHER'S DAY

My little sister, Kate, graduating 8th grade. I was really proud of her for getting through her grade school with such a positive light.  I think it is easy to undermind the power of even the sucess in graduating from middle school, but a lot of the kids in Costa Rica may never have that opportunity.

Rolando and me on the last day in Costa Rica. I get to facebook with him almost daily and often we skype. I miss him the most and think about his dreams becomming a reality someday.

                After being home for a little over a week, the culture shock is still a constant. After getting off the plane from Costa Rica, I was closter phobic in my urban town. When I was picked up from the airport, my friend and I went to the mall and I felt like the exceptionally fair skinned people were running marathons around me while I was just trying to float through the day. No doubt, it was a great feeling to see my smiling roommate behind a neon green sin welcoming me home, but the piece of my heart that had been left in Costa Rica had begun calling my name from the moment I stepped off of my plane.

 It has been a blessing and a curse sharing my experiences with the people back home. While I am excited to tell everyone about everything and feel  fortunate that I had the opportunity to be able to really get to know people that are as far away as Costa Rica, it is hard not to become disheartened when I don’t feel  like I am truly able to make my point or be understood. If you have been able to follow along with my blog, I think I was able to share a few of the experiences with my family and friends but there are so many life changes that I hope that I can be held accountable to and I have decided that the blog that I started as an update while I was in Costa Rica could be used as a tool for this accountability, and a measure of growth. I invite you to follow me and grow with me as I update each Sunday. If not a tool for my own accountability, let it be a resource for motivation, or simply a family read that motivates change before your work/school week begins.

                Throughout the last week, I have been a little overwhelmed by the material culture that I was raised in and my ability to previously be more or less oblivious to it. When I got home, I saw my beautiful car sitting in the driveway and the guilt clenched at my stomach. I thought of how I had used the car for good since I had it. Granted, It was a lot of fun to bring siblings and cousins to their kindergarten graduations in the 1963 Falcon convertible but after all was said and done, the good from my car was really just pride and bragging rights. To be honest, I miss riding my bike down the one main street in Jaco and saying hi to each person that rode by. There is a friendliness native to Jaco, that I haven’t found yet in the States. So, Article 1 on my list of new and improved for life in the States is limiting the material needs in my life, the car being the first to go. I am bringing it into the shop soon to get it all tuned up and on the market. I am trying to learn to live life with an open hand rather than closed fists. Closed fists can only be used for trouble and holding on to things that most often, you don’t really need. While an open hand lets a whole lot of good in your life.

                I have been able to spend a lot of time with my siblings over the last week and am more thankful than ever for their presence in my life. We have been on adventures to the zoo, dog beach, the park, and the trampoline. After spending a month with children who were learning what it was to be loved, it isn’t hard to be moved knowing the simple fact that my siblings are fully aware of the deep and unconditional love that their sister has for them. My sister can be the biggest pest, she can try to push my buttons, and say mean things but last night when we sat side by side reciting the Lion King and giggling the whole time, there was no doubt in my mind, she knew she was loved and I knew she loved me too. My brothers have constant energy; they just don’t stop. The exhaustion as I hit the pillow is a small price to pay for quality time with kids that I know can grow up to change the world. So Goal Number 2 is to be the most patient person I can be. I try not to whine and whimper over things I have no control over, and I know it is best when I am pushed beyond my limits. So, I am working on it. With patience, I hope to be more assertive, to learn to say sorry, to make the kids in Costa Rica proud. When I go back to visit Jaco, I want to be the best example I can be, I want to be a powerful example of justice and love.

                Today is Father’s Day, and I am celebrating with my family in the San Diego sun. How blessed am I and how thankful. Thankful for the support I had throughout preparing for my trip. I am thankful for the people that wrote me letters, and kept track of what I was up to with honest encouragement. I am thankful for my family that despite the fear of leaving me alone in a foreign country was eager to hear about my adventures. Mostly, I am thankful for the children that I will forever be attached to with a love unique to them and to the awesome power of a God that allowed me the opportunity.

POWER

One of the hikes led us to a private beach.

I was trying to get the monkeys to come down to the beach.

A visit to Micoal and Berta was very eager to have a picture with everyone.

Berta and me!

Aimee and I got a free horse ride when the man that sells them almost crushed our heads with his horses!

Caught it with his bare hands ;)

         A friend sent me a letter a few days ago and one line in the letter has been on repeat like a mantra in my brain since opening it.

No matter how horrific or disturbing of a situation you face in poverty no one can ever take away your ability to look at such a dire situation and envision something better.

         A few days ago, Aimee and I were relaxing on the beach and a 23-year-old from New York who was working in a fancy law firm in the middle of Time Square started telling us all about his job. He explained that one of the coolest things about being in the middle of Times Square was that he could work all day, go get an espresso and then go back to work without sleeping; I can’t say that I was envious. I wanted to ask the guy where he found fulfillment in life but I knew the answer. He, like culture has tamed us to believe thinks that if you can rack up money and power then you will feel satisfied. When I looked at this guy, I felt just as much compassion for him as those that live in el Rio.

         It was a reminder that while I am in an area where poverty is the problem, at home it may just be the opposite. After talking to the New Yorker, Taylor’s letter was a reminder again with a new perspective. To me, he says that looking at a dire situation and being able to envision something better is the most power a person could ever have. Like, he said, it is something that no one can ever take away. If it is power that the Western world tells us we need; this is the kind of power we should be looking for. It is the power to see what needs to be changed with compassionate eyes rather than greedy. It is the power to help someone without the idea of making a profit. The day I forget the power of my ability to see the better, to find light in a dark situation is when I have become just as caught up in the world as the man from New York who drinks coffee in the mornings as his only sustenance.

          Below is a poem that I remember having read in high school. I read it again today and I was shocked. Nearly all of the claims that Dr. Moorehead makes about what the negatives in our world are Western ideas. When I read The Paradox of Our Age, I felt guilty because they were things that I had thought of, times that I fall short of finding true enjoyment in life. The people here in Jaco, don’t worry about taller buildings, having too much, or eating fast food because they don’t have the means to do so. They laugh all the time, they don’t have very much, they pray a lot, and they enjoy one another. Lesson learned: there is a fine line between the wonders of the Western world and the wonders of the developing. The trick is to find the middle ground and use power to right the wrong, and keep love and compassion at the root of all power.

         It is Sunday and in Jaco, everyone will spend the day with their family and friends. They wake up and eat breakfast together, they sit around and talk, they go to church, and they head to the beach together to play soccer. Point being, they give their time to one another. I hope my friends and family members back home have time to do the same.

THE PARADOX OF OUR AGE

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints; we spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too seldom, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life; we've added years to life, not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor. We've conquered outer space, but not inner space; we've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul; we've split the atom, but not our prejudice.

We write more, but learn less; we plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait; we have higher incomes, but lower morals; we have more food, but less appeasement; we build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication; we've become long on quantity, but short on quality.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men, and short character; steep profits, and shallow relationships. These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition.

These are days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom; a time when technology has brought this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to make a difference, or to just hit delete...

By Dr. Bob Moorehead

WILD MONKEYS

            The last few days have been touristy and not much time has been spent at el Rio. It is 7 AM here in Costa and I am trying to fit a blog in before I head down to el Rio today. After not having been there yesterday, I am really excited to see the kids. Aimee, Rob, and I were talking yesterday about how easy it is to grow fond of someone who doesn’t even speak your language.

            Yesterday, we headed to the National Park here called Manuel Antonio. While we were in the middle of hiking a trail in the middle of the rain forest, I took a banana out and waved it to the monkeys. Instantaneously, they came running down the branches and surrounded us; it was one of the coolest experiences. For the next twenty minutes, we spent our time handing banana straight to them as they reached for the treat out of our hands. It was amazing to me that a monkey could be perfectly fine interacting so closely with humans; I guess it is a matter of adjusting to what will provide for you. The monkeys needed food and we had lots of it.

            One of the most shocking things I have seen here in Costa Rica is how easily people become accustom to new environments. When Westerners come to Jaco, their sense of time seems to slip away within days and they learn to accept the loose life style. People like me, who schedule their days up to the hour in a planner, don’t know what time it is most often. I just learned yesterday that Tito arrived in Costa Rica from Nicaragua (where most of the poorer people in Jaco are from) a few days before I got here. It made me think of how amazing it was again that people are so flexible and can grow accustom to living in a new environment so quickly.

            When I remember the first times I spent with Tito, I think about how overwhelming it was that all he did was hit and fight. Now, knowing what I do, it seems more reasonable. What I am saying is perhaps we are more like wild monkeys that we would like to admit. Tito had two goals: to stay safe and fed, and to establish a sense of security with the other kids. He knew that he wanted food and he wanted a home. He also knew that he wanted to be accepted by his peers so to do that, he hit kids and threw rocks. Similarly, the monkeys are wild animals; typically they wouldn’t interact with people but they had to eat and so they did.

            I am going to spend my last few days in Costa Rica (I leave on Wednesday) examining myself. I want to know where in my life I have grown accustom and if it is for the right reasons. Sometimes flexibility in life is a good thing but sometimes we are just settling for comfort.

SUSPENDED ON A WIRE

Me, Rob, and Aimee from the first lookout.

On top of the world!

Straight through the canyon!

         Today we went zip lining across the canopy of the Costa Rican rainforest. Before beginning, there was one thing running through my mind, the failed attempt at the ropes course my Senior year of high school. PC sisters I am proud to say that I was 780 feet above the ground today hanging by a wire and I didn’t cry, or scream! As we climbed up the mountain in order to get to the first platform, I could feel the butterflies in my stomach; I didn’t know if it was because of the heights or just the excitement of my first touristy adventure of my stay here in Costa Rica.

            Even though you go in a group, the zip lining really is a reflective time for the individual. You are alone for most all of it as you weave through the trees. There was a time when I was sitting on the wire today that methodically thought about what was going on. Here I was, in a tropical rain forest, in a country far from home, and a wire no thicker than my finger was holding me above gum trees, monkey homes, and an ocean.

            The idea of being suspended on a wire made me think of all the things that have to go right in order for things to just be. There are so many variables with swinging across the branches: the ropes, harnesses, platforms all have to be set in place in order for the process to work. Here in Jaco, there is no doubt that often there is a sense of hopelessness. While sometimes you feel like what you are doing each day gives you great purpose and adds to the community’s strength. Other days, you wonder if what you are doing is strong enough to last the first rainstorm that blows through once you leave.

            Sitting on the wire today I felt like I could see the whole world. The ocean went on for miles and the tree-tops were endless. Perhaps, playing the tourist role gives you a different perspective that is just as important as missionary. Seeing the beauty of Jaco gave me the chance to see the opportunity that was waiting here for the kids. Hooked on to wires is a new leap of faith; it isn’t exactly your body’s usual mode of transportation. Once you get to the first platform though, there is no way to turn back except to go forward. Despite the fear, the shaky platform, or the persistent bugs, there was no other choice but to continue. I think the same goes with my adventure here in Costa Rica. When I get on a plane in 7 days, the adventure is not over: the kids will be in my heart, and my mission to help them see the better life that they can have is only a matter of shifting their perspective.

            With the days I have left, I need to build a harness with love and a long wire from their hearts to mine. Then the trick is to just stay suspended with a little hope that the future will be better.

WATER

the boys.

celebrating a win in Ninja

the whole gang and some kids from Florida that came to help

Paola

     For the past two days all of the water in the city has been shut down. Visiting el Rio has become a little more difficult as I have weighed not being able to shower and the happiness of all the children. It is difficult to know that you are putting yourself in some discomfort for a greater cause. When we play baseball or tag, I have been thinking twice about running through the swampy water or near the pigs and grungy dogs.
    This morning when I woke up, ironically it was pouring. I couldn't help but think to myself how frustrating the whole thing was. While the rain was coming down, there was no way for me to shower or wash my hands and I was completely fixated on it. I headed to el Rio, was soaked in rain water and baby kisses and came home feeling like I had been camping in the wilderness for years.
    The highlight of my day was at the internet cafe today. The town of Jaco has only one main street and the internet cafe that I sit at has a second floor balcony where you can perch over the main thoroughfare. So, it usually doesn't take long for the boys from el Rio to see me sitting up there working on something and come and find me (or just to steal my computer and check their facebooks). Today, the internet was working better than it has the entire time I have been in Costa Rica and I got the chance to video chat my roommate and my mom with the guys. It was really neat for them to meet my family and for my family to meet them.
    Later, I was talking to Erin and just explained how difficult it has been for me to really feel like I am helping sometimes. I have so much fun with them and it is obvious that they are genuinely happy but then you know in the back of your head that bad things are still going to happen to them regardless of your efforts. In a small way, this same feeling reminds me of the lack of water and still visiting el Rio. While, the risk of not taking a shower and being dirty is not very comforting, the satisfaction of being with the kids during the day makes up for it. Similarly, while knowing that at times the lives of my new friends are going to be tougher than I could ever imagine, the time that we have spent together is a great comfort. I know that they have experienced something genuine and loving. As for me, I am more grateful for the love I have at home and feel like a piece of my heart can never be replaced by anything but the Tico friends I now call family.

BERTA

 

Embracing the rainstorms!

No big... just crocodiles under the bridge.

      Berta is the grandmother of many of the children that live in el Rio. She has 18 children with Nikolas. Yesterday, I sat by her in church and she reached for my hand. For the rest of the service she hung on to my hand with a grip that said she couldn’t handle being alone. During the last prayer, she stood up and walked to the front of the Church and started to cry; I had never seen anything like it.  Afterwards, we sat out front and she told me that being at church was one of the most painful things because of how much she missed Maicol (who was her son—I also wrote about him a few weeks ago). She explained that all his friends were there and the loss just made her feel isolated and alone.

            Death has not kept distance within this last year from my own life. With the passing of my Grandpa at the end of the semester, I began to understand the emotional stress of losing a loved one. When I logged on to the computer this morning, I was heartbroken to see that my roommate’s Aunt had passed away last night. Again, I was reminded the impermanence of life and the importance of gratitude for the days that we do have. In the rush of life, we forget the most important things. Even here in Costa Rica, I grow frustrated when plans fall apart or rain stops adventures. In doing so, I forget to be thankful for the beautiful people that surround me.

            My days in Costa Rica are limited; with 9 days left I can count my Latin American days on my hands. Today, I am headed to el Rio with flowers. I am going to invite Berta to walk to the cemetery with me to pay a visit to Maicol. The days that we feel most lonely are just the days we forget the support we have around us; I want to help Berta remember that I am here for her. When we miss the ones who are gone, it is a day to recognize the beauty of Berta’s gesture in church. With boldness, I dare you to find the hand of the one you loved that sits next to you and keep your hands clasped in a firm grip. Hold on to the tangible realities of the now. It is with a friend and a strong embrace that loneliness subsides.  

HUGS AND KISSES

All the little guys!

Kaylor loves to be thrown in the air!

Kaylor trolling under the tables in order to sneak some crayons...he seems to think they are tasty.

Brandon and me :)

Aimee being tackled by the kids.

            Jose, my best friend since I was born, and I always talk about how interesting our communication must have been when we were young. While his first language was Spanish, we were playing together and somehow understood one another. Our families say that we always seemed to know what the other was doing.

            Similarly, at el Rio, there are moments when my Spanish limits me but our communication never fails. Today, when my friend Aimee (who has a blog as well and I put it as a link today on the sidebar of my own blog) and I arrived at the Rancho, most of the older kids were helping at the houses. It is typical, especially towards the end of the week for the parents to have the kids help in the house rather than sending them to school or letting them come color in the Rancho. For us, this meant that we had a fun day with Tito, Kaylor, Kevin, and Brandon. They are four of the younger boys and always eager for attention.

            At one point in the afternoon, Aimee found herself sitting on the floor with the boys all tackling her. She is not one for critters, germs, or dust but she said that at some point, you just have to let what happens happen. Igniting a flame solely based in love rather than a selfish fear of dirt and grime, Aimee allowed herself to find a closeness to the children than had before existed. Being limited to hola, cuidado, and muy bien as Spanish phrases, Aimee was still able to communicate with the young boys.

            The young kids are not the only ones that seek refuge when we are all hanging out in the Rancho. It seems like all the dogs filter in as well. It is interesting that they will hide under the tables close to Aimee, her husband Rob, or me. It is as if they know, that there is a safe zone from the beating and tail pulling of the children and adults at el Rio. Here, the respect for animals becomes trivial when survival is what you think of every day. Dogs are fed diapers because it gets rid of the trash and they will eat it, kittens are replaceable once they are either eaten by another animal or die in a storm, and chickens are most often featherless.

            All of the situations just made me think there had to be more to communication then just a language. How is it that two best friend speak different languages and still are so close? Or, at what point is a relationship established when a British girl who knows no Spanish becomes a friend to four Spanish toddlers? In regards to the animals, there has to be something that makes them understand that they are safe around others while subject to abuse around others. Hugs and kisses seem to be the key with the children. Giving them a big hug when they walk in the door starts the day our right and before they leave in the afternoon they run and scream hugs and kisses at us as they walk out the door.

            Today has been a day of awareness for effective communication. While learning a lot of Spanish has been a great accomplishment while here in Costa Rica, learning to communicate compassion and love seems to be even more of an achievement. Luckily, this is a lesson that transcends any language barrier and will be an important tool no matter where I go!

FAMILY

Me and the family last Summer in our favorite place...Idaho!

The best friends a kid could have.

:)

3 month old kitten that I played with for an hour at el Rio hoping the kids might show up.

            I headed down to el Rio today to find that the kids were all at a school event which meant that I had about six hours in my day outside of el Rio that I wasn’t use to. I headed down to an internet café only to find that the storm that was rolling through wouldn’t let me connect for too long. It seemed like all signs were pointing to being unproductive. Luckily, it gave me the opportunity to finish all the letters that I had promised to send to friends and family back home; it was quite an accomplishment.

            The letters have probably been one of the best things I thought about before coming to Costa Rica. Writing them has proved to be a reflective time for me during the early mornings or late nights. I have grown just by thinking about what I am going to say to my friends and family. After finishing the letters, I absent mindedly scrolled through the pictures I had collected over the last few weeks and decided it was about time to start compiling the book I had been thinking about since before I arrived.

            I spent a few hours putting together the poems I had written since being here and some of my favorite pictures of the children. In no way do I think that the book is near ready, but it is coming along to be something that I am really proud of. While I was sitting in the café, a boy named Luigi came and sat next to me. He was interested in what I was doing and after I told him he said that he was going to write his own history. Granted, I was happy because it kept this 18-year-old boy from talking for too long but once he finished and I brought the paper home to look at I realized that it was pretty neat what he had written. He talked about how he and his mom came from Nicaragua and his grandma lived with them too. He loved his mom very much and said she was a strong woman.

            The people here have a lot of respect for their families. I think that is something big that us Americans back home can take away from Costa Rica. At thirteen, it becomes weird to hold your mom’s hand, or give your dad a hug before you run into school in the morning. Here, fifteen-year old-boys hold their mom’s hands in the grocery stores and daughters hug their dads each morning when they wake up. When someone describes where he or she comes from, they don’t talk about a place, they talk about their family’s history. How beautiful is that?

            I was reminded that in the rush of everything when it seems like we have the most time in the world, it is easy to become self-absorbed in whatever project we are concentrated on. I wish I could go back and give Luigi some genuine attention by listening to his story; I missed an opportunity. He told me he would be there tomorrow so maybe I can make up for a job left halfway done. As for now, I have a greater appreciation for my own family that loves and cares about me and friends that have opened their hearts to me as a second family!

Dear Grandma

The are always eager to get a hold of the camera. We were hanging out while the laundry dried!

How cute is she?

Making play dough!

They were a little unsure about what to do with the dough...eat it? play with it? throw it?

Sliding for the finish?

1 John 3:17-18
If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.

Tonight, I tried to skype my Grandma Leanie but the connection here is so terrible that it doesn’t work all that well. For today’s blog, I am writing to you Grandma because I want you to know that you are in my heart always and on my mind as I try to be a living example of love in my new friend’s lives. My Grandma took care of me when I was little and she was always an example of patience and compassion.

Grandma Leanie,

         Today I headed to the River and played with the children. We made play dough out of salt, flour, and water and used markers to dye it different colors. You had been on my mind especially today because last night the reception on the TV worked well enough to watch the whole 2 hour special of Dancing with the Stars. I was shocked because I thought the little blond was going to win but one thing that Costa Rica is continually trying to teach me is that you can never be too sure about anything.

         I have a secret stash of Oreos. There is only one store in the whole town that has them and because it is so humid here they come individually packaged. I guess that is probably good because I eat them slower. I have learned that peanut butter tastes good on everything and Oreos are no exception. Be sure to try it sometime but have some water nearby!

         When I headed back to the River at 2PM there was a big game of baseball going on. I got to be the pitcher and my team one! It was pretty exciting. Today though, I thought about the things I have taken for granted. When I gave the kids play dough they were occupied for two hours and totally happy. I remembered when I had play dough when I was little, I was never so excited about it as they were. And then even baseball, we played in rocks, with dog skeletons on the floor, and pee waiting for a rainstorm to be washed away by the river but they were happier than a lot of the kid I know at home.

         I knew I was blessed to see both worlds: one at home where I am surrounded by a loving family and a Grandma that did arts and crafts with me and went to all my silly school plays and then life here where simplicity is not a choice and happiness is really one of their only choices, but yet they are full of gratitude.          Right now the rain is pouring around me and I am sitting at an internet café. I know Grandpa would have his camera out because you can see the thunder roll in over the ocean and it is beautiful.  A friend told me a story today about how he had to bike for twenty minutes in the rain and he had a choice to be frustrated about it or enjoy it; he chose to be happy. To me, this story was beautiful. It reminded me that everyday is a choice, and right now I am choosing to be fully happy and fully alive. It is a wonderful feeling.

Love,

 B.

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.
If you want to be happy, practice compassion

~Dalai Lama

#1 PRIORITY

Iguana sighting!

The kids climb up on the trees and houses to find mangos to eat.

Kaylor and me coloring. Although, Kaylor usually eats more of the crayons than he draws with.

Tito and Manuelito all smiles!

This morning, I was on my usual route to el Rio eager to see the smiling faces of all the kids. Excited about pictures I had printed of the kids, I was a little anxious to get to the Rancho and hand them out. My camelback was heavy with a day’s worth of water and my camera stowed safely. Distracted by the banana I was trying to finish before I got to el Rio, I absent-mindedly peddled past the cows, ceviche shops, and sodas.  I try to finish my breakfast before I get to el Rio each morning, or bring enough for everyone because the kids are always so hungry and it is distracting and unfair to eat right in front of them.

            Somewhere in between taking a bite of my banana and crossing the street, a large white van with chipped paint and broken windows rounded the corner quickly and hit me. The van’s punch sent me towards the sidewalk and my bike to the middle of the street. With my dad’s voice in the back of my head, I tucked and rolled, and to my surprise my volleyball dives must have come in handy because I was straight back on my feet and headed towards the bike. The man in the van was no where to be found, but that wasn’t my concern.

            If there is one thing I have learned in Costa Rica, it is that bikes are valuable and if given the slightest opportunity will be stolen right in front of you. I rushed to the bike glad that my number one priority was safe just like me. I then pulled off to the side of the road and checked my camera and was pleasantly surprised to see that there was not one scratch on the lens. After relaying the story to a friend his first question was are you okay and I thought, wow yeah I am. Why was it that until that moment, I didn’t think about how lucky I was that not only my camera and bike were safe but I was too?

            When I related this one incident to my everyday life, I couldn’t help but think, where else in my life do I forget me as my number one priority? While perhaps it is easy to get lost in service, is it just as simple to lose my respect for myself because my focus is turned so drastically outward.  If I am so concerned with material goods (bikes and cameras for example?) than am I not in tune with what is truly important in life?

            My roommate, and friend Erin, always reminds me to not put myself second. It is an endearing phase that we pass back and forth when we notice that one or the other isn’t having as much respect for themselves as they ought to. While the power of helping another will always remain my top priority, I need to remember that I come before a bike and I come before a camera. People are always more important than objects. So today, Erin’s voice was a little louder than usual and came in the form of a forceful van. I was knocked down as a reminder to remember me. If I am teaching respect to the kids, I need it for myself. The second reminder was that the Ticos are less than forgiving on the road and that days here with health accompanying them are a blessing so it is time to celebrate! 


"All living beings, starting from insects, want happiness and not suffering. However, we are only one, whereas others are infinite in number. Thus, it can be clearly decided that others gaining happiness is more important that just yourself alone."-- from The Path to Tranquility: Daily Wisdom

LONELINESS

How could you feel lonely when you are surrounded by a face like this?

The boys are always happy to see their faces on a camera screen.

      Yesterday, in the midst of missing the Bulls/Heat game, an overwhelming sense of loneliness took over my body. Here I was in Costa Rica and when I am with the children I see a living example of love within our connection. When I ride my bike to el Rio each morning, excitement is in full control and I look forward to the new things they will teach me.

            However, last night, I couldn’t help but reflect on the fact that I was half way done with my stay here in Costa Rica. The fear of not creating a sustainable environment for the children that I will soon leave behind made me so emotional. I was lonely because I felt like in this little town, there are so many people living their lives without thinking twice about the people that need the most help. In turn, I began to think about how relatable this situation is to life at home.

            I have a cousin who has just started doing service hours and he doesn’t particularly like it. It is easy to be comfortable, to play at the beach instead of doing something for someone else. But, my time here has shown that helping doesn’t have to feel self-sacrificing.  Let me make clear that Costa Rica is beautiful. I am staying in a house with the beach as my backyard in a tropical rainforest. For a month, I am living in a vacation destination. Sometimes, I am serving simply by watching new friends surf. This morning, serving was dancing with two three-year-olds in my hand and a seven-year-old wrapped around each leg. Granted, service isn’t always fun or easy: as I have said before, the grandfather of the Rio community makes me sickly uncomfortable.

            Loneliness, itself is not something that needs to be feared. Rather, loneliness should be embraced. The more lonely I felt last night, the more I thought about when I had felt that way before. I think loneliness is really just a reaction to when the lives we know change in a way that we aren’t sure how to control. The world as I knew it is so different from what it was two weeks ago and so I think that the feeling of being out of control is important. Feeling uncomfortable and suffering a little bit is good; it inspires growth in life.

            Today, I am thanking that nagging lonely feeling in the back of my mind. It is a symbol of my perspective changing, and that is exciting to me. This morning, I received two letters in the mail one from a friend and one from my family. The letters were just another example of the love that I have in my life and the compassion that is waiting to build me up as my life changes. Therefore, the loneliness that I had felt before, is being embraced and the love that I have at home is inspiring me to grow. As for the sustainability of my project here with the kids, as I work on my own growth, I can see the kids growing too. Sustainability will follow so long as I trust in the power of the love that surrounds us and the importance of an uncomfortable situation inspiring growth.

PHOTOGRAPHS

David running to do some intense boogie boarding! He loves to do little spins at the end of the wave.

Owen (my favorite) watching the waves with his big smile... he is always smiling and SOOOOO patient I have never seen anything like it.

Renee spends ALL of his time out on the waves.

Davie is the clown of the group as exhibited by his crazy falls :)

            When I first arrived, I was hesitant to bring out my camera. Not only was robbery highly likely in fact, my small camera was stolen within the first few days, but also I was afraid of taking pictures of the children in exchange for their sense of dignity. When you are in a community that is their home, making a photo shoot your chance at National Geographic isn’t the best way to respect new friends.

            A few days ago, I brought my camera out in el Rio for the first time and I was startled by how excited the kids were. Their trust in me by then had become strong and they were eager to see their face on the display of the camera. The older boys beg me to meet them in front of the house at the beach each day and take pictures while they surf. Yesterday, I dragged a beach towel and my zoom lens to capture every wave—the boys were stoaked!

            Today, we headed to a cachi vachi sale which is a big yard sale. Once we got there, all of the kids were dressed up in the best clothes they had with gelled hair and fancy shoes. It was fun to see that the parents cared about the kids and had spent time for them instead of themselves. I ran into Tito and he had his hair spiked, a fancy belt, and suede shoes. I can’t say that the new attire made him less of a terror but it was precious to see.

            I think the time that it takes to sit on the beach for two hours taking pictures of the boys while they surf, braiding a little girl’s hair, or even making little Tito feel special with a clean shirt is really what my trip here is all about. It is rare that people take time to fully be there for another person. Even more rare is that opportunity for the kids here. They are overlooked, and feel unimportant. So today I am taking photographs and taking time and offering it all up to the kids.

P.S.

   Hiking to day with the boys on a monkey search and I am so excited!

DEALING WITH THE LEMONS

Some of the kids made this mosaic.

The entire city of Jaco...it´s a tiny place (just for you Blakie Blake Blake)

Rebecca and me.

A storms a brewin´...

Like usual, I headed to el Rio this morning at nine, and opened up the Rancho. The Rancho is a little room that is all fenced in where we have crayons and papers so that the kids have a safe place to play or do homework that is all theirs. We have a routine each day: the kids see me walking down the hill and come running my way, we open up the Rancho and they run inside excited to paint and draw. Before they get a paper, we write their names on the board so they can practice spelling them on their pictures. Today though, after all the names were on the board and I went to grab the papers, I realized the heavy rain from yesterday had ruined everything.

            The kids stared blankly at me as I pulled out sheets and sheets of construction paper that had turned to tissue paper. Their desperate faces made me feel eager to please. I thought of my Grandma K who can make a craft out of anything and before I knew it, we were having fun with our flood-stained papers. The youngest kids shredded all of the papers into tiny pieces and brought out the glue while the older kids drew outlines for posters—it was time for some good ole’ paper mosaics!           

            I am not sure if there is a phrase in Spanish for making lemonade out of lemons but the kids being proud of their finished products was enough for me. Life here is most definitely not lazy. If you want a snack, you climb a tree, knock a coconut down, and then chuck it against a wall until you get a sweet drink. If you want to go to a friend’s house, you walk. If you need a facebook fix, you walk to a café and pay a few dollars. The community’s resourcefulness is something to learn from here in Jaco and when the sun finally came out today our mosaics were stunning!