FATHER'S DAY

My little sister, Kate, graduating 8th grade. I was really proud of her for getting through her grade school with such a positive light.  I think it is easy to undermind the power of even the sucess in graduating from middle school, but a lot of the kids in Costa Rica may never have that opportunity.

Rolando and me on the last day in Costa Rica. I get to facebook with him almost daily and often we skype. I miss him the most and think about his dreams becomming a reality someday.

                After being home for a little over a week, the culture shock is still a constant. After getting off the plane from Costa Rica, I was closter phobic in my urban town. When I was picked up from the airport, my friend and I went to the mall and I felt like the exceptionally fair skinned people were running marathons around me while I was just trying to float through the day. No doubt, it was a great feeling to see my smiling roommate behind a neon green sin welcoming me home, but the piece of my heart that had been left in Costa Rica had begun calling my name from the moment I stepped off of my plane.

 It has been a blessing and a curse sharing my experiences with the people back home. While I am excited to tell everyone about everything and feel  fortunate that I had the opportunity to be able to really get to know people that are as far away as Costa Rica, it is hard not to become disheartened when I don’t feel  like I am truly able to make my point or be understood. If you have been able to follow along with my blog, I think I was able to share a few of the experiences with my family and friends but there are so many life changes that I hope that I can be held accountable to and I have decided that the blog that I started as an update while I was in Costa Rica could be used as a tool for this accountability, and a measure of growth. I invite you to follow me and grow with me as I update each Sunday. If not a tool for my own accountability, let it be a resource for motivation, or simply a family read that motivates change before your work/school week begins.

                Throughout the last week, I have been a little overwhelmed by the material culture that I was raised in and my ability to previously be more or less oblivious to it. When I got home, I saw my beautiful car sitting in the driveway and the guilt clenched at my stomach. I thought of how I had used the car for good since I had it. Granted, It was a lot of fun to bring siblings and cousins to their kindergarten graduations in the 1963 Falcon convertible but after all was said and done, the good from my car was really just pride and bragging rights. To be honest, I miss riding my bike down the one main street in Jaco and saying hi to each person that rode by. There is a friendliness native to Jaco, that I haven’t found yet in the States. So, Article 1 on my list of new and improved for life in the States is limiting the material needs in my life, the car being the first to go. I am bringing it into the shop soon to get it all tuned up and on the market. I am trying to learn to live life with an open hand rather than closed fists. Closed fists can only be used for trouble and holding on to things that most often, you don’t really need. While an open hand lets a whole lot of good in your life.

                I have been able to spend a lot of time with my siblings over the last week and am more thankful than ever for their presence in my life. We have been on adventures to the zoo, dog beach, the park, and the trampoline. After spending a month with children who were learning what it was to be loved, it isn’t hard to be moved knowing the simple fact that my siblings are fully aware of the deep and unconditional love that their sister has for them. My sister can be the biggest pest, she can try to push my buttons, and say mean things but last night when we sat side by side reciting the Lion King and giggling the whole time, there was no doubt in my mind, she knew she was loved and I knew she loved me too. My brothers have constant energy; they just don’t stop. The exhaustion as I hit the pillow is a small price to pay for quality time with kids that I know can grow up to change the world. So Goal Number 2 is to be the most patient person I can be. I try not to whine and whimper over things I have no control over, and I know it is best when I am pushed beyond my limits. So, I am working on it. With patience, I hope to be more assertive, to learn to say sorry, to make the kids in Costa Rica proud. When I go back to visit Jaco, I want to be the best example I can be, I want to be a powerful example of justice and love.

                Today is Father’s Day, and I am celebrating with my family in the San Diego sun. How blessed am I and how thankful. Thankful for the support I had throughout preparing for my trip. I am thankful for the people that wrote me letters, and kept track of what I was up to with honest encouragement. I am thankful for my family that despite the fear of leaving me alone in a foreign country was eager to hear about my adventures. Mostly, I am thankful for the children that I will forever be attached to with a love unique to them and to the awesome power of a God that allowed me the opportunity.