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Monday, December 29, 2014

New Year's Traditions

   
   


     For many, the month of January is filled with New Years Resolutions -- extra time spent at the gym, better eating habits, and more time spent with family -- but for me, it has always been a month of books. As a little girl, there was nothing better than unwrapping my presents Christmas morning and receiving enough books to tide me through the winter break. With a fresh stack of crisp books sitting on my bedside table, and three weeks of no homework, I was invincible. I road a raft with Huck and Jim, explored planets with St. Exupery, and fell in love alongside Jane. Years later, not much has changed. In fact, at the risk of exposing my inner-nerd, each New Years Day, starting at midnight, I read my very first book of the year from start to finish as everyone else settlers into their beds.
    This year, I read books of all sorts--my first Grisham mystery (don't tell any of my bookish friends), some Nouwen to work through the challenging spiritual crises death brought my family this year, and of course, no year would be complete without my Virginia Woolf. However, my latest book, The Other Wes Moore, deserves its own attention. After finishing this book, I cried a little and wrote a letter to the author (a rarity despite my bibliophilia). Wes Moore, the author, is a Rhodes Scholar, combat veteran, White House Fellow, and a business leader in New York. He also was raised in Baltimore surrounded often by the tragedy that poverty, substance use, and violence bring to communities. Not too far away, a man the same age, with the same name also grew up. However, this Wes Moore is serving a life sentence in prison for the armed robbery and murder of an officer in February of 2000.
     In light of the recent tragedies and tensions surrounding race politics, poverty, criminalization, and the safety of our police force, this book really struck a chord with me. Moore's main question throughout the novel is why did he end up in a place of privilege while "the other Wes Moore" is behind bars? Without placing the blame completely on education, poverty, substance use, mentors, genetics, or environment, Moore does a brilliant job of describing the complexity in which our urban youth live. While he shares "stories" from both  his own life and "the other Wes", he is sure to explain, "I don't want readers to ever forget the high stakes of these stories--and of all of our stories: that life and death, freedom and bondage, hang in the balance of every action we take" (xiv).
    He describes his childhood as one of turbulence. His father died in his presence, his mother working endlessly to make sure he was sheltered as much as he could be. Moore describes entering his neighborhood as "being assaulted" (48).  Low expectations over-shadowed much of his community and Moore describes the joy with which he overcame such expectations. In the end, he notes that his mentors, his mom's firm belief in education and moving out of poverty, and fate are all to blame for his success. In fact, the subtitle, One Name, Two Fates speaks to the strong weight he places on fate's role in his life and the life of the other Wes. The word "fate" in itself implies some kind of serendipity, lack of control, or perhaps predetermined. This was truly the sense I got from reading his comparison of his own life and the lives of the thousands of other children that will never rise out of the poverty that assaults them.
    While fate is uncontrollable, I was touched by the true power of kindness, resilience, and friendship played in the outcomes of both Wes Moore's lives and their futures. I was inspired by the chance that in my own future, I could imagine a world in which we have better methods, practices, education systems, and programming that speaks to the children the way the author of this book was spoken to. In my own lifetime, we can find ways to improve the resilience of youth, the empowerment of women, and decrease the violence and criminalization found in larger numbers in communities of color and poverty. There could be no greater New Years resolution!

Thursday, December 4, 2014

The Research Behind Compassion

      
“We have the choice to use the gift of our life to make the world a better place--or not to bother”
-Jane Goodall
    With a blog focused on compassion, I came to the realization that I have yet to directly write about it. So what is compassion and why is it important? Compassion is the feeling of caring for and wanting to help others who are suffering. The tricky part is our society has made compassion a trait rather than a skill. Someone does something kind, or is more sensitive to someone else's suffering, and we say, "they have such an incredible gift of compassion." However, research supports that compassion is not a God-given value but rather a cultivated skill which places each of us at an interesting crux; will we choose to cultivate compassion?
    Perhaps the best examples are those individuals that have already made the choices, and by most standards, have succeeded in such cultivation. Take for instance, Dr. Richard Davidson, the Director of the Center for Investigating Healthy Minds. In 1992, he was encouraged by the Dali Lama to integrate his rich understanding of neuroscience with creating a kinder more compassionate world. Since then, Dr. Davidson has become the leader in compassion research. His findings have indicated that through meditation training, engagement, generosity, and the hope of nurturing well-being in ourselves and others, we can grow in compassion exponentially. Perhaps even more interestingly, is that as our actions change, entire brain regions respond that increase i our ability to be empathetic and to experience more positive emotions. 
    Or what about the public figures we consider outliers that allowed compassion to define nearly all their actions? Mother Teresa, William Wilberforce, Nelson Mandela, Albert Einstein, Mahatma Gandhi, Jane Goodall, Malala Yousafzai -- all of these individuals are standouts for their ability to feel the suffering of others and to do something about that suffering. At the same time, each of them has been referenced speaking about the incredible amount of effort it took to reach the level of compassion they have for others. Take for instance, Albert Einstein, who said, "Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty." Einstein describes being more compassionate as a "task"; if it was a task for one of the most intelligent men to ever live, consider what it means for us.
    It is in the struggle to become more compassionate, the tenacity it takes to work through the challenges we face, and the incredible truth that being compassionate is tough, that I find most inspiring. Compassion is a process-oriented ability. What wonderful power it is to know that to be more compassionate is simply a choice!